a juxtaposition of adrenaline & tranquility

I recently realized I crave adrenaline, and sport was usually my way to fulfill that hole.

Sprinting, chasing plastic, dripping sweat in the hot sun,
cheering as teammates or opponents make a play.

I crave the foot race to an under. Juking out my defender, anticipating my match up and intercepting the pass. I miss joking on the sideline and running around on the field with no qualms about life.

It’s not just adrenaline alone – it’s the juxtaposition, the simultaneous presence of adrenaline and peace.

It’s the tranquility found in the breathless moments of physical and mental exertion, alongside the cacophony of voices and footfalls across fields as far as the eye can see.

To slip into a flow state is to be fully immersed in the present moment. My mind subconsciously calculates multiple factors at once: wind speed, humidity, the 13 players sharing the field with me, and minute strategic assumptions.
I take a step, make a throw,
consciously,
purposefully.

I miss Ultimate, as Blue said, with every fibre of my being.
An Ultimate-sized hole in my life.