Or embracing failure

Originally written August 19, 2019 as a journal entry to share with the team.

THIS IS IT. Nationals in 3 days.

The time to lay it all on the line, what we’ve been building for… every tournament, every throwing session, every training session, every practice, every decision & sacrifice to make ourselves a better competitor, athlete, player & teammate.

I am so impressed with how this team has come together – challenging & supporting each other, and demanding nothing short of excellence. Throwing & workouts, film review & discussion, an Instagram group chat… You’ve all made this team something to be proud of.

These next 60 hours are key to prepping yourself to be dialed in.

I’ll be focused on hydrating – 3 L/day, carb loading with wholesome foods, and getting in some tapering workouts before Thursday. Throwing today. Two workouts tomorrow – explosive weights in the morning & a track workout in the evening. Wednesday will be an active recovery sprint session & throwing. I’ll also do a sport performance daily meditation every morning before work, review strategy & film, & prioritize sleep.
This is it, Union.

LFG. Get ’em.

Originally written August 25, 2019 as a private journal entry.

Sunday Morning of CUC 2019

10:30 AM, I’m at home on the balcony, sipping tea.

My body hurts & my spirits are challenged.

I had a restless sleep, my mind drifting to Ultimate & thinking about what more I could’ve done.
The first thing I felt after that universe quarters loss was disappointment – in myself.
I wish I played better, had more throws, ran harder, anticipated smarter, for my team.
I wish I saw our confidence & strong lead were slipping away and nipped it in the butt RIGHT THERE. I wish I was more knowledgeable in captaincy to do what the team needed in that moment. It brings tears to my eyes to know I let the team down, when they needed me the most. And I am so sorry for that.
But this Nationals coaxed the competitive fire in me that was struggling.
I had some big moments this week that surprised me. Some big layout bids & grinding hard on the field. I am fully capable of being an incredible player – I just have to get out of my own way.
So, Day 1 of post-season. I am going to continue training to prep for Harvest and possibly Team Canada tryouts. I am on an upswing and I have more to work on and prove.
I NEVER want to feel like I let my team down with who I am as a player. I want to be the best player & person I can be, for them.
Players who support me, pick me up, and challenge me to do better. Never satisfied.

I’m feeling a little melancholy now that the season is over. I was having a lot of fun with the team. This is a true ‘coming down’.

And here I am, focused on the next thing.
Wanting to scrap this icky feeling of dissatisfaction.

Study some Coaching Conference videos.
Post-season workouts.
Join Zen and MMV practices.
Keep throwing twice a week.
Do film review.

Let’s be the player you know you are at Harvest, and hopefully you get an invite to Team Canada tryouts.